Long ago, I came up with my theory of the "Package Plan." Conform or die. It's the unspoken command we hear when we are poured out of our homes and into institutional processing. The "Package Plan" is what most people unwittingly sign up for. Forego free will. Forego identity. The benefits are worth it. It could easily have been something a young punk like me could sneer at, but I understood it. But then there were a lot of folks like me who didn't sign up. It turns out there was another plan: the "Group Plan". For the remainder of my formative years, I watched as those who rejected the "Package Plan" scatter and found their groups.
"Here is where we came from. But I never left. When you ran away from home, you left me alone." Only The Loner by The Infinite Vacation.
And so it's been, ever since. I've grown to understand this as well, marvelling at the obscurity and specificity of the groups that folks heave their allegiance upon. So what did this make me? An individual? Is there an "Individual Plan"? If you ask anyone from the other two plans, most will tell you they are on that plan. Everyone's an individual.
I discovered recently that on the "Individual Plan", if that is what I am on, I am only half a man. There is something called the "Partner Plan". Because of us, I can be me.
Don't get me wrong. Everyone finds significant others. Everyone mates and marries. Who knows if they're in the same plans or not? I made the whole thing up. It's a hypothetical framework. And within that framework, I imagine that those on the "Individual Plan" are those that are fully realized human beings whose ideal partners are other fully realized human beings .Good for them.
So how does one know they are on the "Partner Plan? I'm not that bright. It took three steps:
- Break up with partner.
- Realize you don't want anyone else.
- Realize you don't want her to be with anyone else.
Though I'd like to say I've had a partner before, I would say that certain people have been placed in my life by God. To balance me. Because, believe me, I am imbalanced. It's why I'm obsessed with balance. Through them all, God has kept me alive. And all of them have led to her. God has been speaking to me through more and more people. Probably because he's afraid I may still be enough of a moron to not get it. Could you blame him? My partner probably feels the same way. And I can't assure because I'm a moron. So, God, please guide our little ship, the way you've guided me for so long. Thanks.
