Sunday, December 29, 2019

Too Smart For My Own Good

You are your own worst enemy. Know thyself. Rinse, repeat. Seriously, it's a vicious cycle. I was able to build one hell of a defense using that cycle. I was able to build a suit of armor and orbit the planet. Yes, like Iron Man, sort of. Remember the first movie, where the suit shut down because it began to accumulate ice? Didn't see the movie? Don't follow the metaphor? That's perfectly OK. Movies and metaphors were key to my armor. Anything but real life. ANYTHING but real life. Do you know how terrifying real life is? Apparently everyone did but me. Because I was so busy tinkering with my armor. Protecting myself. ISOLATING myself.

They say it is helpful to keep a journal. That is what this is, I guess. Of course, it can be a little notebook folded and kept in your back pocket. It can also be some paper folded to look like a journal. Whatever works. Being too smart for my own good meant thinking until nothing happened. No writing at all. This blog was always meant to be "a catalyst for consistency in my thoughts and expression."

Consistency? Did I achieve that? Maybe, maybe not. But what kind of goal is that? Is thought consistent? Is that what I want to achieve now? 

I am just happy to write. Get that smart guy out of the way, at least the one that's too smart for his own good. He can stay on as a consultant. Let the inner child return to the fold. He's the one with the imagination anyway. The smart guy wanted consistency. That's boring, right? Still, it's all me. This is just an adjustment. Knowing myself means being able to adjust when I become my own worst enemy.

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